Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
