She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
