i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
