The maid of honor just puked.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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