If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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