I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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