They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize