I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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