How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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