Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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