You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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