I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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