Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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