I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
