I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
