So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I had to cum in my sink.
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