yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
