Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
