this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
