Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Shame - the story of my life.
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