we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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