haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Pooping to opera.
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