I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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