Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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