Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
