YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You ruined the universe
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
