i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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