Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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