I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
