Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
