I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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