i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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