apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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