Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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