I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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