Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
