I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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