dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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