im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
