Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
