Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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