Your tits are I can't wait for
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
