$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
