it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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