yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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