So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
