I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
