dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
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you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
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If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize