Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
