I feel great
I just peed on a car
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
