Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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