Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I came so hard my ears popped.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
