i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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