do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
