come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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