I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
