Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
