i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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