Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
