Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
