He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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