Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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