Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
